Confidence and self-empowerment is the foundation of any personal or professional goal.
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Note: The podcast is not scripted and is transcribed using software. The transcript is nearly verbatim but may not be exact. It may include edits for ease of reading and/or minor grammatical errors.
Welcome to I Can, I Am, I Will. The world’s number one podcast for confidence and self-empowerment. Today we’re going to continue our conversation from yesterday discussing how this podcast is crafted to help you build your confidence.
I’m also going to give some background into who I am so you can know a little bit about the person behind the voice.
My name is Lyndsey I’m a confidence and self-empowerment coach and here together we are building your confidence and self-empowerment.
Make sure to hit that subscribe button. You can find transcripts of episodes on my website at www.canamwill.com. You can also email me at email@example.com—I would love to hear from you. If you have any questions, comments, concerns. If you have any suggestions for future podcasts, I would love to hear what you have to say.
Yesterday I talked about how a friend suggested I do a podcast. that I didn’t know what podcast I would do, and then I came up with the idea of doing a podcast on confidence and self-empowerment when people in a writing group said that I was empowering them with my writing.
I realized that of all the things that I’ve done in the past decade of working on myself and being the best person I can be and working on my self-empowerment, that at the base of that was confidence and self-empowerment.
Self-Development and Confidence
I first started working on myself because I was feeling not so great and my relationships weren’t going the way that I would like. I wasn’t finding strong connections and things weren’t really going how I planned—except for work.
The work aspect was great. I was a workaholic, but that was really it. I worked a lot and then I drank after work and it was my life. I worked out but I didn’t really have any hobbies. It’s funny too, because I started working out to feel better. And working out felt good for a while but then it just ended up that I felt as stuck as I previously did but my pants fit better.
Same thing with meditation. I did meditation, yoga, journaling, all of it. Anything that someone suggested I would try. I even started eating healthier. I eat blueberries every day and I still do this stuff now however I felt that that stuff wasn’t a lifelong lasting solution.
So I worked on doing more, and I read a lot, and I realized I started building my confidence. I realized that I was putting so much pressure on relationships because I was people pleasing. And I was trying to please other people, I wasn’t thinking about myself. My relationships weren’t working out because I was so focused on pleasing other people that I wasn’t thinking: is this relationship even good for me?
Confidence to Overcome People Pleasing
I was also pushing people away because I don’t—not proud to say this—but I was acting kind of desperate. Not like stalker or like extreme that you see in like movies and stuff. But I was definitely rearranging my schedule, putting myself second, trying to make sure I was super available for everyone all the time—it was unhealthy.
It wasn’t good for me or my mental state. And what I found out was that I needed to start focusing on myself and my confidence and feeling empowered. My self-worth really. Knowing that first of all, that I deserve to have healthy relationships.
So I started working on my confidence and self-empowerment and then everything else fell into place. I wasn’t focused on other people I was focused on being the best version of me that I could be. And I was focused on not controlling the things that I couldn’t control. and then I started attracting people.
They would say, “hey, I love your energy”, or “hey I love your attitude,” or “hey look you seem like a great person, let’s have a drink”!
I’m like, “sure”!
And in that time I did have people tell me—multiple people tell me—people that I’ve known, they would tell me, “hey you seem different, but in a good way.” My friend’s parents actually said Lyndsey changed, I really like it”.
Not that it was bad before, I just wasn’t as open to other people before, because I wasn’t as open and accepting of myself. How could I be open to other people if I couldn’t even be open to who I was internally?
Related article: The #1 Way to Build Confidence
And that’s really how this all came to be. So I focused on all that and then I started working with other people. Sometimes I would work with other people not even knowing I did. A friend called me and she said, “I got a promotion at work and a raise”.
I get super excited to see people succeed, I just genuinely love seeing other people succeed I think it’s wonderful it makes me really happy. So, my friend calls me up and she goes, “I got an increase I got a pay raise.” I said, “that’s awesome”.
She goes, “do you know how I did it”? And I said, “no, how did you do it”?
And she said, “I did it from watching you”. That is the first time that I told that story without crying. Surprised because usually it would make me cry. Because in that moment I did cry. But I didn’t want to cry with her on the phone, because at that point I was still working on being emotionally available to people.
So I told her I had to go. I cried after we had that phone call. Because she told me that she got her promotion from watching me, and how I operate at work, and how I am continually fighting to get what I deserve, and that instilled something in her. It made me feel so good that I contributed to that.
Other times I would go on Reddit and give advice to people. I love doing that. There was this woman, and she asked a question and she got a lot of generic advice. So I gave her some advice that I thought would help her. And I remember I came home from work one day and I opened up my Reddit app and there was a response from her.
She said that my advice really helped her out. She was nervous about going to a party and I gave her advice, and she said that my advice really helped her out. She went from being nervous to be excited. And I just thought of this person—of this woman—who reminded me of myself. And I thought of how she went from being nervous to go to a party, which is what I used to do, to being excited just from me helping her to reframe her mindset.
Related episode: Ep24: How to Build Confidence and Reject Invalidation
Helping Others Find Confidence
I felt fulfilled. It felt so fulfilling for me to do that, because I just genuinely like seeing other people happy—it makes me feel happy. I like that energy. I love when I see someone who is their true self, their true being.
And I love seeing others honoring themselves. Seeing that they know they have value, and that they have worth, and they’re not putting themselves down. I love to see that, and I want to help other people do that.
Sometimes we get lucky and will find people who believe in us. I have a carving behind me from an attorney I used to work with who believed in me. He was one of the first people who believed in me when I did not believe in myself. And he told me I was smart. He told me so many times that I finally just was like, “fine OK I’ll accept it”. Because he just would not stop telling me that I was smart.
It was so annoying but finally he forced me to stop seeing myself in a negative way. He forced me to stop putting myself down. And that’s what I want to do with you here. Because sometimes we’re not that fortunate.
Or sometimes we were just so stuck in the negativity, that we don’t appreciate people that give us positive feedback. Sometimes people will not fight like the attorney Luke did for me, he kept drilling it in, and sometimes we don’t have that.
Affirmations to Build Confidence
So I want you to have that, and that’s what I’m doing here. That’s why I’m telling you that you can, you are, you will. Sometimes people laugh at affirmations and think they’re silly. They’re definitely not silly they work and I know they work because they changed my life and that’s why I tell you, I can, I am I will, you can, you are, you will, because I want you to know that!
And to get to know that we repeat it. That’s why I’m doing this 100 podcasts and 100 days.
I want to show you that someone will show up for you. Someone does believe in you, and someone knows that you have value, and that you have worth—even if you don’t see it in yourself.
You may be thinking, “how does she know that I have value and worth? She doesn’t even know who I am.”
It’s because I can relate to you. If you want to build your confidence, and you want to feel empowered, and you want to feel happy, and just develop yourself and live a happy and fulfilling life, then you and I are very similar.
Because that is what I want to do too, and that’s why I want to help you. That’s why I know that you’re deserving. Because I didn’t think that I was. I didn’t think that I could, and someone saw something positively in me, and then I found it in myself.
Related Episode: Ep1: Start Building Confidence Today
Showing up for You
I want to help you find that too. Because when you are empowered, and you are confident, and you are living authentically then you are going to change the world. We are going to change it together. And I know that that can sound like a lofty goal, but it’s not. Because when you’re empowered than other people around you will be empowered.
Just like my friend was. And we’re going to be helping other people, and then we’re going to have society of people who are living more towards their natural authentic self. We’re going to feel happy and fulfilled!
With that, we’re going to end with our “I” affirming statements.
You can say them with me, you cannot, you can do whatever you want!
Are you ready?
Have a good day.
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